Title:  Why Does Every Poem Start With "I"

Author:   Chaselyn
Category:   Thoughts
Keywords:  Pain, Loneliness, Fear, Broken, Relationships, Vulnerability, Life, Objectification, Labeling, Narcissism,

Views: ( 290 )

Why does every poem start with I
And every accusation
And feeling
Every thing and touch

It’s lonely and searching
halfhearted howl purge
Silent expulsion of the soul And your gaze And how you held me together
When I clawed at my ribcage
And scrunched my toes and forgot to breathe
And felt all this life that I can’t see
And it doesn’t see me
And it starts to say things that start with I

I sit. no. I slump
Over towards the door and try to smear my face
And tears and mucus and thoughts
Into my hand
To hide from you

“I’m sorry I fucked you up”

Did you think I wouldn’t hear
Or feel
Or remember
Or CARRY

Did you think I wouldn’t
Step back to see who i was
And see the burgundy And ivory And invisible hole in my leg
But it isn’t big ENOUGH
I know.
I can’t get back in

Did you think I
Was your project And pet And guilty ticket to after it all
Am I
?

Did you think.

Because I think
Over and over
Into myself
And out of myself to so many places
Who I say hi to but no one hears my
me

I. of course

I have a propinquity
To leave my synapses And gray matter And beat beat beat
Because it’s so much to be alive
To see… my broken reels and the shambles of my mind theatre

“I’m sorry I fucked you up”

“My love ruined you… I ruined you”

“Nothing I say appeases you”

“You aren’t lovable”

“You aren’t the girl I fell in love with”

“You are emotionally needy, unstable, and a masochist”

“You seem content in darkness and until you figure that out, I’ll never want to be here”

“I’ve ruined your happiness”

“You ARE fear, suffering, pain, angst, insecurities, and pessimism”

“It would take someone spectacular to do that… like who you once were”

I think I might shatter my keyboard Or lung Or epi, medi, sub dermis

When I search your valleys of face and beams of soul
As I am in my fingers
Dancing over the buttons on my coat
Unraveling it
Tessellation And disintegration And fleeting fibers
I.
am unclothed
I.
Try to meld my eyelids together And my molars And fists
And feel the breeze forget that I have a chestdo I have a chest
My chest is the breeze and
My mind a boulder
I am here now. You see me. It is now
okay...
I, like an imbecile, or blessed simple man, let myself melt out of
My face drains, those damned orbs,
To find nothing
But those words and my malfunctioning theatre

I know.




Comments on "Why Does Every Poem Start With "I""
Posted by eric88 on August 14, 2014
Really enjoyed reading this. Great work!